Haven't blogged in forever, but just saying that I am about to have one of the best nights ever with one of my most favorite people in the world.

senior pictures, if you cared.

Wrong Decisions?

When I was in 8th grade I had to make a huge decision and sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong one in the end. I loved to do all kinds of sports when I was little: soccer, swimming, basketball, dance, and softball. Softball took up the entire summer and then some in the school year. Dance is all year round and is very time consuming as well. Here was the dilemma. Do I keep playing softball and be a sporty girl or do I continue with dance and become a girly girl?There wasn't time to do both. But, there were positives and negatives to both sides. I loved softball but at the same time I hated it, only because of the team I was on and the coach that was coaching us was super mean. I loved dance and being on the stage but it is so tiring and expensive. So which way do I go? Obviously I picked dance, since I've mentioned dance team and such, but I think back and I miss softball terribly. I was a decent catcher and I loved doing it. I was really good at bunting and running really fast so I could steal bases. I miss getting dirty and sunflower seeds and softball tans. Whenever I go to a baseball game I suddenly get this empty feeling like I need to play softball. But I love dancing too. I still try to play catch with my boyfriend but he plays all the time and gets sick of it. I don't have any of my catching stuff anymore which upsets me because I want to see what I can do now.

I don't know if others agree with this, but I feel like I can be a girly girl and a sporty kind of girl. I try to be both sides because, well, I don't really know who I am yet because of the feeling I get when I miss playing.

Realization

I have realized so much throughout the summer that its not even funny.
I've realized that I don't need friends that don't treat me right and I have other friends that care about me and want to be my friend.
I've realized that what I did in October was the best decision of my life and then I may have made a couple other mistakes after that but now I know for sure that I picked the right choice and it has made me a happier person.
I've realized that love really is possible in high school and if adults tell you its not, well it is.
I've realized that my boyfriend is an amazing person, even if he jokes around with me I need to learn not to take things so seriously and to lighten up because hes different than anyone I've ever been with.
I've realized that it's our senior year and we have to make the best of it because pretty soon we will be meeting new people and starting a new life.
I've realized that some of my closest friends are leaving me in only one month.

It's been a great summer of realization so far. I can't wait to see what else will come in the next couple months.

Texas

I went to Texas for a couple of days with my older cousins to visit my grandparents. Sounds like a pretty sweet, easygoing trip right? Wrong. See, my cousins are both older than me, and their mom's are sisters and best friends while their brother, my dad, gets put off. So that leaves me out in the open to make fun of and talk about behind my back the whole trip. You think drama lives in high school, talk about people that have known you your entire life and know everything about you and your family. They talked so much crap about me I barely want to see them again. Not to mention the fight with my boyfriend, my grandparents old age and getting Alzheimer's disease, my friends are having a girls night, and my parents are going off doing all these fun things while I'm gone. Talk about the worse trip ever. I'm just glad to be home again.

It's summer thank christ

Summer has arrived and blogging is no longer required for class but I've decided that it's a great place to let out my emotion that has been inside me for so long.

Say hello to my little friend Susie. Susie was my best friend until we got in an argument and weren't talking again but Susie has this constant urge to be mean to me and we are in the same friend group so she decides to just laugh at me behind my back and talk about me to my other friends. I don't like Susie. Luckily she is going away to college soon so maybe I can get my friends back and move on with my life.

Say hello to my boyfriend's cat, Bitch. She decided that she would go have sex with another cat and get pregnant and have little baby kittens all over the yard. So when she did have them, she was a horrible mother and didn't take care of them at all. The other day I decided to go down and see the little kittens and one was on the floor shaking and dying and crying out for help. And where is Bitch the mother? Sitting up on the porch not even caring about her dying baby in need of help. I yelled and screamed at her and asked her why she was not doing anything but she did not respond, of course. I cried the next day when I saw the tiny kitten, dead on the floor.

There will be more updates of how summer goes throughout the next couple months but so far I could only ask that there be more sun so I can get a little tanner, other than that everything else is perfect<333 love lyfe.

I miss...

Here are things that I miss dearly in my life:

I miss going to the dance studio every Sunday and dancing my heart out even though I didn't really want to, the smell of the whole place still haunts me every Sunday.
I miss my old neighbor friends and how we used to play together every single day outside and we just played together and nobody cared about anything other then that we were together.
I miss elementary school where there was no homework and nap time and snack time and recess and there was no drama.
I miss my old house with its pink shutters and stairs leading up to the door.
I miss living in Florida where it was always warm outside and it didn't snow.
I miss playing video games like Harry Potter, Sing It!, and DDR with my friends, afternoons were filled with these games.
I miss my old pets and how they always liked to cuddle with me and play with me, now I'm never home and my cat is only in love with my mom.
I miss the old dance team and going to Disney World with them and always getting to see them every day.
I miss Read Photography and getting dance pictures done there every year in all my costumes.
I miss the times I had with old "friends" and the memories we shared together.
I miss riding the bus to middle school and feeling like I was cool when I was in 8th grade and got to ride in the back of the bus.
I miss my family's cooking at holidays because now I'm so busy that we don't get to stick around for endless amounts of days being served tastey food.
I miss school pictures in elementary school when nobody cared how your picture turned out and all the girls wore pretty dresses and the boys wore little ties around their necks.
I miss the first cell phone that I had and it's simplicity and how cool I thought I was to own an actual cell phone.
I miss my friends that used to care about me before they found new people to hang out with.
I am happy that I know how new friends that care about me more than them and can treat me with a little more respect.
I'm sad that some of these friends are going to leave me soon, however.

Check out this website.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

Going Out Concert

Two nights ago was our last concert for showchoir this year. We watched our prep groups do their show for the last time, and our parents gave us a surprise remake of our show with all of our parents doing the things that we do in the show. It was pretty hilarious. But then when it became time to do our show on stage, I wasn't so sure how to feel. Some of my best friends are leaving next year that I spend so much time with after school. They're on dance team and in showchoir plus I have classes with them and it will be so weird to do things next year when they aren't here. This is pretty much what I was thinking about the entire time we did our show. I started crying during the ballad (of course) and at the end of the last number when I realized that it was all over. After we performed, it's a tradition that our varsity showchoir and anyone who is an alumni of the group come up on the stage and sing the song Forever which is the saddest song ever. Some of the lyrics say, "Forever, good friends are forever...." and it goes on to say that in different ways which really made me start crying. My senior friends would keep looking at me and they were crying which made me cry and it was just a big cry fest and nobody was really singing. After that we all kind of gathered in a big group and hugged each other and cried. Next year it will be me who is going to be leaving all these people that I've known and I'll have to give up showchoir and dance team in high school and I'll probably never do anything like it ever again. Which is a really scary thought because that's basically all that I do, besides school of course. But I guess I'll just enjoy this next year as much as I can because all of the graduated people I talk to say enjoy it while it lasts because they miss it like crazy, which scares me as well.

I love all of my friends and I will miss those who are leaving next year and I don't know how were going to get by doing some things without them. But, we will have to manage.



Here is the video of the parents trying to do our show. I find it quite hilarious when comparing it with the real one.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

i'm gonna be a senior soon...

Planning for senior pictures already and trying to figure out what outfits I'm going to wear and when we're going to do it and where I wanna take them at and UGH so much stress. I think I've decided who I'm going to get them taken by but now the question is when, where, and what to wear. When I look at everyone else's senior pictures, they are SOOOO beautiful and I just hope that mine turn out okay and everyone likes mine as much as I like theirs. I chose to go to this studio that nobody really goes to and they come to you so that everyone's pictures are different and the poses are different. When you look at the people who all go to the same studio here in our town, their poses look the exact same. Sure there is some individuality, but for the most part they all look the same, and I don't want that. It seems early to me to be planning for all this, considering I'm not even a senior yet, but I'm getting kind of excited as well. There are so many new things that you get to do when your a senior that everyone else misses out on. There's senior pictures (of course), prom, senior skip days, and just having that feeling that everyone else in the school is younger then you and you have power to do whatever you want. But also realizing that in only a couple of months, you are going to leave the people that you have grown up with since you were only 5 years old. Most of them you will never see again until the holidays roll around and everyone comes home, but even then you don't know if you will see everyone who you want to.
We don't have to think about that right now, because it's still May of my junior year, but if you think about it, it's really not that far away. I don't know how I'm going to live on my own. Where will my mom be when I'm sick? And what if I'm just tired one day and I don't wanna go to school? These things haunt me sometimes and I don't really know what to think of them, but let's move on to a different subject now.

As I'm thinking about it more and more, these senior pictures should be fun. I'm excited!
Here is a picture of one of my friends that got her pictures done at the place that I'm going to go. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

AP Tests

Friday, I took my AP US test at the Kirkwood center down by Carlos o' Kelly's and it was the longest test of my entire life. Besides not knowing anything during the hour long multiple choice section, the 2 hour essay part was horrible. Who needs 2 hours to write 3 essay's seriously? I got done almost 45 minutes early and I know that most other people were done way early too. It just doesn't really make sense. If they want you to push yourself and do good but limit your time, then why did they give us so long to write these essays?!!?? On Wednesday I have to take the AP Lang test as well and I have no idea how that test will go. I hope it doesn't take as long though because that seemed like it was forever! Monday is the AP Bio test which I am not going to take because I know absolutely nothing in that class. I guess it's a little more of using your common sense then American History, but you have to know all the little detailed things and I do not know any of that. I only manage getting by in that class by doing the extra points options and the other assignments that aren't tests. If that class was all tests I would be totally failing that class. Why are these AP classes so hard and remind me again why I decided to take three of them this year? I'm only taking two next year and they are easy ones. I don't want another full load of homework next year on top of dance team and show choir especially when it's my senior year and your supposed to have a good time!

I hope I did decent on the AP US test and I hope I do okay on the AP Lang test as well and don't get any ones because that would just be pretty embarassing. Don't get me wrong, I don't really wanna be bored and watching TV every single night, but I don't want to have so much work that I can't get it all done even when I have nothing going on at night.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

Spam and more Spam!

Spam email pisses me off a whole lot. This one time I accidentaly put my email into this thing on some random website and now every night my entire Yahoo! inbox is full of stupid letters telling me I've won a new iPod touch and a new computer if I just enter here! BULL! I will not win anything new you will just keep sending me stupid shit to make me eventually spend money to buy what I want. There are also these weird creepy things that say people are waiting to chat with me...um..wtf? No I do not want to talk to weird random ass people that probably just want sex. Every day there are more and more and more emails. Somebody please tell me how I am supposed to stop these from coming! I DO NOT WANT YOU STUPID SPAM JUST STAY OUT OF MY COMPUTER!

Speaking of spam, that reminds me of canned meat. Don't ask me why I just suddenly thought of that, or why I started talking about it because I honestly have never tasted that stuff nor do I ever have the desire to. That does not sound very appetizing at all. Don't soldiers eat that when they are in other countries? ICK. Our showchoir did a novelty about Spamalot a couple years ago and saying that word also reminds me of that. Spam can mean a lot of different things to different people and it might now be one of my favorite words to say. Just say it out loud. Spam. Isn't that just a great word?!
Okay so I don't really know where this blog post is going or why I even started talk about this spam email, probably because it just makes me really mad. But if anybody out there has anyway to stop it from filling up my inbox with a bunch of stuff that I really don't want or need or care about, please let me know?!?!?

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

Amusement Parks in Iowa...aka NONE

So here goes me trying to list off the amusement parks in Iowa that I know of:

-Adventureland

-Lost Island (it's a waterpark I guess)

-Grand Harbor (again, waterpark)

And yep that's pretty much it. Don't get me wrong, a day at Adventureland is quite entertaining, but it's just not anything like Six Flags or Disney World. I wish we lived in a little cooler state. When people think of Iowa they think of farming and animals, when that is not what it's about at all. We lived in a well developed city and only in the country is where you can find people farming in their backyards. I guess we associate states and other countries for what they are best known by when you learn the states only in grade school. Then your imagination develops and you get a bigger picture of what you think these states should look like when you arrive there. There are some cool things to do here and it's not like we get bored in little ol' Iowa, but I just wish there were something more exciting to do here rather then having to spend a bunch of money just to get to the place where there is something exciting to do.

Waterparks here are always fun on a hot day, but it's not like they can stay open year round because it gets a little chilly here sometimes. Lost Island isn't anything like the Wisconsin Dells, which by the way I would love to go there someday. I've never been skiing either, I don't even know if we have that opportunity here in Iowa? But anyhow, I just wish there were some better things here. I guess I've said that a bunch of times now but now that I'm thinking about it, it's really angering me why there aren't more exciting things to do here! We go on vacation and see all these cool restaurants, malls, entertainment. How come that is not in Iowa? Eh. Whatever, it's not like I'm going to start building a new Disney World here!

This is about as cool as the rollercoaster's get at Adventureland and there are only three of them....so yeah. My point exactly.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

Randomness

So I'm going to copy @cccaat for this blog post. Oops sorry I'm just a little used to being on Twitter so much. ;)

Things that I see in this room that interest me:

The Wii is in the corner by the TV, but we never really use it anymore. I used to always play that bowling game and now we never use it. Maybe when I'm done blogging I'll get on the Wii Fit and start playing it.

My kitty is cuddling up next to me and purring. I love when he is just calm and lying down. Sometimes he'll get so overwhelmed with you that he'll climb right up on you! Speaking of cats, I really want this little kitten at my boyfriend's house (they have lots of cats that live in their barn outside) and its a black little kitty that follows me around every time I go over there. I really want that cat and I wanna bring him home. HE IS SO CUTE!

The TV is on the News right now and I kinda miss watching the news, it really lets you know what is going on in the world right now. Sometimes you just need to cuddle up and watch the news, it's actually quite relaxing.

The smell of dinner is in the air because my mom is cooking right now and it smells delicious!

My cell phone and this computer are pretty much my life. I could not live without my cell phone and I use the computer way to much during the day. I guess our generation is used to electronics helping the do the things that they need to do.

Oh and I would just like to mention that the coffee table in our living room was only 3 dollars at a garage sale that my mom went to. She brought it home and we painted it up a little bit and its just like brand new. It gives our room a little character and spices it up a little bit.

Okay that's all of the things in this room right now that are actually interesting to me and are worthy to talk about.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

A Little Jealous

So our school's prom was last night and being only a junior with a boyfriend who is a junior, I didn't get the opportunity to go. But seeing all of my friends going to prom and looking so pretty and having a bunch of fun, it made me really wanna go. I could have gone this year, before breaking it off with my ex boyfriend who is a senior, but that would have meant that I would have to make a lot of sacrifices in my life that I wasn't willing or ready to make. Sometimes doing things for yourself is better then doing what you want. I've learned that the hard way.

I'm not really the best person when I have to chose between two things I want. I always pick the wrong thing and it turns out affecting me badly in someway. There have been several times I picked the wrong decision and I had to pay for it in the end. The only thing that I can do is learn from these experiences, but it just kind of sucks. I would spill my entire stories on here if I could, but I don't really want everyone knowing.

My life has gotten better since I made the wrong choice and I guess that's just what happens. People forget and forgive and time moves things forward but your actions are always going to be there.

I don't really know what any of this has to do with prom, but it just got me thinking about a lot of stuff and it made me kinda sad to think about. Oh well, next year I'll get my own prom and then I wont have to be jealous of everyone else being able to go when we can all go together.

Here is a website that has a lot of cool prom dresses on it.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

working mehasl;ekrjoie

I would just like to say that I have to go to work tonight and that explains how my day is going to go. Knowing that I have to go there for a couple hours tonight really makes everything better. I get to go be with a bunch of people I don't know and stand in a greasy concession stand where it could quite possibly be only 30 degrees outside tonight.

I'm going to have to wear a sweatshirt under my shirt and look a little bigger then I normally would. I'm going to get beer spilled all over me when the drunk people come back up to get some more. I'm going to get yelled at by at least one customer tonight, guarantee it, because we don't have something in stock. I'm going to have a super greasy face and body when I walk to my car after my shift. I'm going to have to be there at 5 before everyone else to help set up everything and I've never done that so I'm going to feel like shit because I feel like I can't do anything right. I'm going to have an older person standing over my shoulder watching my every move and making sure I'm doing everything right. I wont get like any tips tonight because it's Wednesday and who wants to watch baseball on a Wednesday night. There is going to be popcorn all over the floor and I could potentially slip.

I guess I shouldn't complain much because I do have a job that I get paid for and it's something different to do each week. Not one time when I work is the job the same because you're always seeing new people and they are quite interesting let me tell you. There are some people that I see 5 times a night because they want more beer or their little kid wanted something else and they didn't buy that the first 4 times. Then there are the people who think that everything they say is right but really they aren't right at all and your just supposed to sit there and let them talk until they have gotten all their steam off and continue on with the order.

Okay so maybe I might really like my job, but I'm just really lazy right now and I hate going out and doing anything. I have senioritis, but I'm only a junior. Next year is going to be a long year.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

The School Years Just Don't Stop

Another year is ending and it's already time to start thinking about next year's activities. This upcoming week, we have showchoir tryouts for next year. It's only April and we don't even do anything until July! It's going to be weird going to school and thinking this is the last time we're going to try out and it's actually going to be the 4th time we've tried out, although it doesn't seem that way. There's going to be a lot of younger kids trying out this year and their hopes will be crushed when they find out that they didn't make the group they wanted, but it happens every year. There are only a handful of people that make it and continue on up the ladder.

Hopefully I'll make it next year again, because they are doing some really cool songs that I can't wait to be a part of. I don't really have any doubt, because I was in it this year and our director knows how I perform and work. I am kind of nervous though, because I just did my dance audition and I totally screwed it up. I forgot a little bit of it but I pushed through. I'm on dance team though and they should know that right? I'm just a little scared. I wouldn't want to be in it one year and then be kicked out and not in it the next year!

I am probably just overreacting and there is nothing to worry about. But this is totally me. I have to vent about something just to realize that I'm over exaggerating it. I don't exactly remember how much I messed up on, but now that I think about it, I really didn't do that bad. I would just like to say thank you blogger, for being there when i needed to vent about something and you totally just made me feel better.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

Insurance and the future

So what's with all these Geico commercials and the gecko? I was just watching tv earlier this morning and one came on. So I decided to look on Youtube and found this video that has like a bunch of these commercials all in one.



I've always wondered which insurance is better. All of these commercials tell you that your not getting the best rates when you're using these other companies. On the AllState commercials they tell you that you should use their company because you're paying too much otherwise. So where are you supposed to find the information on where you should get your insurance from? What is the right solution to your problems? What am I supposed to do when I get older and have to buy insurance for my family? Do I listen to these commercials or what? All of these questions need to be answered so I don't make the wrong decision and end up spending way more then I need to.

I really don't know why I'm thinking about all of this because it's kind of a long time away, but my future has really been on my mind a lot right now. I'm trying to plan out college and thinking about what I'm going to do. Maybe it's because I'm going to be a senior in high school next year and that's just a really weird feeling. When thinking about high school and all the memories, it doesn't seem like it's been 3 years already. In only a year, I'm going to be leaving all my friends that I've grown up with for my entire life. I'm going to have to make new friends and really actually start my life. It's a very weird feeling.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

LIKE OMG WHICH HAIR STYLE MAKES ME LOOK FABULOUS!?!

So I was just browsing around on the internet this morning (what's new) and found one of the top stories on Yahoo was "What Men Really Think About Your Hair" or just this link. It talks about how they surveyed 100 random guys on the street and asked them a series of questions about what they like best on girls' hair.

Like they really want me to believe this stuff these guys are saying about girls' hair? Each guy is different and has their own opinion about what they like. And every girl looks different in different styles according to what their face shape is and their skin color, their eyes, and other physical features. When these guys were interviewed, they probably had one girl in mind that they were thinking about when they answered all these questions and answered the questions according to what they think looks good on her. Or, they were thinking of famous people and talked about how they looked because they think that they are the most beautiful girls on the planet. But really, get a grip, they're just people like you and me. Different things look different on different people! That's a lot of differents, but seriously, it's the truth.

The author of this article also compares all of these hairstyles and such to famous people that we all know so that we think differently about the topic.

This article just grabbed my attention because I always find myself laughing when I see these types of surveys that interview hot guys to answer questions so that girls will read it and change their ways. If someone really loves you, you can be yourself and they will still like you no matter what your hair looks like.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

Decisions, decisions

Have you ever realized how many decisions we make during the day. It starts right when that alarm goes off in the morning. Should I hit the snooze button or just get up now? I think my goal tomorrow will be to count how many choices I have to make throughout my school day. That may be a challenge. But decisions aren't only in your school day. There are the people you hang out with and what you choose to do, what you eat during the day, and so many other things.

This year I had to make one of the biggest decisions of my life and though some people may say it was easy, it wasn't. There are people in your life that come and go. You meet new friends and the old ones drift away. And then there are those friends who stay with your for awhile. I am lucky enough to have a couple of people who have been in my life for quite some time and we're still friends. Of course I don't want to let the old ones go off to college but hopefully we'll still keep in touch. This year, I have a lot of friends that are seniors and will be leaving soon. It's gonna be really hard to see them leave.

Making decisions isn't always the easiest thing either. Sometimes you lose people in your life to make yourself feel better about you. That's kind of what happened to me. But no further detail is needed about this situation, it's not easy to talk about. I'm just glad that I have people who respect me and that can make the same good decisions that I do in their life because ultimately, that's what your life depends on. The decisions you make.

Here is a website with a bunch of quotes about making decisions.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.

websites and time

Websites that I visit too often and why:

-Facebook (of course, what other teen doesn't visit facebook every single day) probably because I get bored and need some entertainment.
-Twitter (again, teenagers) and this would go along with the bored reason as well and it's kinda creepy but I really don't care.
-Google, it's probably the best thing that has ever happened to this world in the means of technology because it can give you the answer to anything.
-Yahoo, I check my email way too often then I should. I don't even get anything good in my email, it's all junk mail and stuff but I still check it everyday.
-Youtube, also the entertainment reason and it's just fun to watch the featured videos everyday.
-LoveGivesMeHope, it has cute little love stories (that are true I hope!) about people who have experienced an act of kindness or love from another person.

I decided to do my blog on these websites that I visit too often because I find myself everyday going onto the computer and visiting the same things over and over. It's not just once a day either. Sometimes it can be like 15 times in a night! It's not like our parents ever had this kind of access to get on the computer all the time and explore the web. They probably didn't even have computers in their childhood. Students these days should really be more active so that our population isn't a bunch of fat people just sitting on the computer, the tv, the videogames. It makes me sad to see people flying on an airplane and they cant even fit inside the seat they're trying to sit it. When you're that fat, you need to do something about it. Hopefully people start realizing they are spending to much time sitting around, and need to spend more time being active. This list of websites I use all the time got me thinking that I really could be doing something more productive with my time, rather than just sitting around! Just sitting here writing this blog, I visited twitter, google, and yahoo because when the computer is sitting right in front of me, I can't help it. I just start surfing the web. WOW. I really have an addiction.

That's all for now my fellow bloggers.